Dear Chase...

Dear Chase,

This morning when I went to get you out of your crib, yes you are finally sleeping in your crib, you gave me the sweetest smile I have ever seen. I can not tell you how much your mommy and daddy love you. When I talk about it or think about you, it can bring tears to my eyes in an instant. Every morning we have talk time and you are really getting verbal. I swear today you told me " I love you mommy" but I could be wrong. I cherish the moments when you fall asleep on my chest and I can hear your little sounds while you sleep. I had a hard time putting you in your crib because I missed rolling over and seeing your sweet face sleeping. So my sweet boy, you are going to be 12 weeks this week. It is crazy how big you get every day. I love you sweet munchies, so so much.

I heard song that made me think of you...

Don't know much about you

Don't know who you are

We've been doing fine without you

But, we could only go so far

Don't know why you chose us

Were you watching from above

Is there someone there that knows us

Said we'd give you all our love

Will you laugh just like your mother

Will you sigh like you old man

Will some things skip a generation

Like I've often heard they can

Are you a poet or a dancer

A devil or a clown

Or a strange new combination

of the things we handed down

I wonder who you'll look like

Will your hair fall down and curl

Will you be a mommy's boy

Or daddy's little girl

Will you be a sad reminder

Of what's been lost along the way

Maybe you can help me find her

In the things you do and say

And these things that we have given you

They are not so easily found

But you can thank us later

For the things we handed down

My Heart

Not to long ago, my heart was ripped out of my chest and exposed to the world. On April 30th, my baby boy was born and I knew my life would never be the same. As soon as he was placed on me in the hospital room and looked into my eyes, my heart belonged to him. What an amazing love. It's amazing that a sweet smile or an endearing look can bring me to tears. I thank God every night for this blessing and there are days when I have to pinch myself and say, he is mine I get to keep him forever. So again, thank you God for my boy. I will love him everyday with all my heart and give him the best life I can. There are no other words that I can write that will explain even a sliver of how I feel and how in love I am, so here are the pictures introducing Chase Robert Senkarik.....

The Final Stretch

As you all know I haven't been very good about updating my blog, but I though that should try to get another post in before Baby "S" arrives. We are at 37 weeks and it is unbelievable. Where has the time gone? At moments it seemed the days would stretch on forever while some weeks would pass like a blink of an eye. I can't wait for Baby "S" to arrive, but on the other hand I will miss the watching my belly dance and feeling the pokes and kicks in the middle of the night. As much as I can't sleep and could barely put on my shoes, I will miss this feeling. I have loved being pregnant and feel blessed that everything went as it did. I only hope the rest of it will be as amazing.

Today, I go in for my appointment and ultrasound. They want to take measurements of the baby because they are worried it will be a fat little thing. If you have seen my stomach lately, it is probably on its way! They will also check to see if I have dialated anymore. At my last appointment I was 1 centimeter dialated and 30% effaced. I am just hoping the baby will hold off until my mom gets here!

Here are some pictures that my amazing friend Kelle took of my pregnancy. How amazing that I will have these pictures that captured my pregnancy so perfectly. Thank you Kel, I love you!

It is an absolute miracle that this tiny baby has grown for the last 9 months in my belly. It has grown eyelashes, fingernails, organs, eyeballs, etc. Then this miracle comes out and it is your baby. One that was made from two people who love eachother. You are responsible for the rest of your life for this miracle. I just can't get over it. It is truly amazing. So the next post may be of the sweet Senkarik. It is unbelievable!

26 Weeks and counting....

Time is officially standing still.

Somedays I feel like I will carry the baby until I am old and wrinkled. Can you imagine? Too weird! Other days though seem to fly by and a part of me starts to panic. I haven't gotten my furniture, I haven't taken my labor and delivery class, I haven't had my shower, how could it be moving so fast? That's not a day I had today. Today was endless.

I just read my blog about my flutters and it's crazy how much changes in 8 weeks. I don't just have flutters now, I have punches. Sometimes I feel like I have a 12 lb. baby in there because there is no way a 2 lb. little baby can be this strong. At my 32 week appointment I expect to see some huge muscles on those arms! I am consumed with my pregnancy. I read baby magazines, go on every baby website imaginable to see what this week will bring although they all say the same thing, I watch every baby show and cry at every babies birth. It is all encompassing.

People ask me "Do you like being pregnant", my answer is absolutely, 100% yes. I feel like I am a part of a secret mothers club. When I pass another expecting mom, we grin at eachother like we have a secret. I love feeling the kicks even if I am awoken at 3:30. It is so worth every lb, every sleepless night, every bathroom trip, every drinkless weekend. It is worth everything. Do I like being pregnant? Without a doubt.

I can't wait to meet my sweet baby. It is 14 weeks until I hold that baby in my arms. I envision the delivery, I envision what the baby will look like. I have never been so sure and so unsure of something in my life. It is like a rollercoaster ride. So much excitement, so much fear, so much anxiety, and so much fun. I am ready for the rollercoaster ride. I will be sitting in the very frontrow, hands in the air, screaming "Woo-Hoo". Bring it on!

Are those little flutters in my belly?

Since I was first pregnant I couldn't wait to feel those little flutters in my belly. I thought it would be the most amazing and sweetest thing. About two weeks ago, after eating a huge chocolate thunder dessert from outback, I felt a tiny flutter. It lasted about 1 second and then it was gone. Everyday I waited for that little flutter to come back, but to no avail. I started worrying that there was something wrong with the baby and that I needed to call the Dr. ASAP. It's funny though because as soon as I started panicking, I felt a few hard kicks. It was like the baby was trying to reassure me that everything was okay. It's amazing how, although we have never met, I can love something so much. I can't imagine when I actually meet Baby Senkarik, the love I will feel.

So the kicks are coming more and more. The only time I seem to feel them is when I am lying down on my back. They are getting stronger so I am guessing that I will start feeling them all the time soon. We have our 20 week appointment on Monday and we get to see the ultrasound. We haven't had one since 12 weeks, so it should be a huge difference. I am enjoying every moment of being pregnant. I honestly didn't think I would enjoy it as much as I have been. I thought the impatient side of me would want it to be over, but I always feel like someone is with me, that I am never alone. I guess that is what my life will feel like from here on out. It's a miracle!



Here are some pictures of my growing belly and it keeps getting bigger and bigger!!

8 Weeks


14 weeks


18 weeks

Happy birthday Stephanie!!

Today is my best friend's birthday. We have survived 17 birthdays together and have seen almost every aspect of eachother's lives. So Steph here is a tribute to you:

The first time I met Steph was freshman year in Bonnie Bowman's class. I was a quiet girl from Hawaii who didn't know anyone and Steph was this huge presence who seemed to know everyone. We were different in every way possible. She had the coolest, curliest hair and mine hung straight. She threw together these awesome outfits and I was so simple. We were as different as anyone could imagine so who would've thought we would end up as best friends. I don't even think we did. But after a bonding session at a party, we would be forever friends. So to you my dear friend. I hope you have an amazing birthday because you deserve it. I have seen you grow from a confident teenager to an amazing mother. You are not only my best friend but you are my family. I love you and happy birthday!!!!!!!

Sigh of Relief

I feel like I can breathe again. Since I first found out I was pregnant 7 LONG weeks ago, I couldn't wait for that appointment when my doctor said "You are 99% in the clear now, only 1% of women over the first trimester have miscarriages". I felt an exhale from deep within. I tried to stay positive through the first trimester, but there were times when pains or cramps would set me back and I would start with the "What if" scenarios. So 7 weeks after finding out that there was a little bean inside my belly, I am finally out of my first trimester.

So I think I have had more ultrasounds than some women get their entire pregnancy. Last week, Ryan and I went in for a "routine" exam but when the Dr. couldn't hear the babies heartrate using the doppler he sent us to get an ultrasound. I was a litte nervous, but they had warned me that it is still pretty early to hear the heartrate on the doppler. So after waiting an agonizing 1 1/2 in the waiting room we were finally called in to get the ultrasound. Right away we saw the baby moving about, another sigh of relief ( I think I will just hold me breath for 9 months)! I couldn't believe how much bigger it was from the little cute 'teddy graham' at 8 weeks. It seemed gigantic although it is still only 2 inches! The first thing I said was "It looks like an alien". Sorry my sweet baby, but you did. (Picture to prove it) I think Ryan was a little nervous that our baby is going to comeout looking like E.T. because as soon as we got home he was on the internet googling images of 12 week old pregnancies. I think he started calming down when he saw that most resemble creatures that flew in from Roswell. I still think my baby is the cutest 12 week old baby in the world.

So tomorrow I go in again for yet another ultrasound, my fourth one in three months. I am starting to feel like Katie Holmes. We might as well just have one in our house! At the ultrasound last week they tried to get the measurement of the neck called the nuchal translucency screening. This screening is one of the first ones that test for Down Syndrome. So tomorrow while sitting in the waiting room I will be holding my breath again. I think they should just start handing out oxygen masks in the waiting room. For now, you can see my sweet baby. The best picture is the one of it's little foot. So perfect, so sweet. I can't wait to kiss those sweet toes!

The little foot. You have to look close. That is the bottom of the foot with the little toes.

Still the cutest thing I ever saw!